Welcome back
by Sabaku no Keiko
Summary: Five years after Stella left to New Orleans, she comes back to visit her friends. When she finds out that Mac has a fiancè,  she fails getting over it. So she talks to Mac and something happens which shouldn't have.
1. Chapter 1: Surprise

**A/N: so... what should I say about... hm... nothing xD

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**Chapter 1: Surprise**

Stella sighed hard as the elevator stopped. The doors opened and she walked out. It's been five years since she was here in the New York Crime Lab and five years since she saw some of her old friends.

Now that she was back again to visit them, she was afraid of meeting them. What would they say? Would they be disappointed that she had left so quickly? She didn't know. She didn't even WANTED to know.

Stella headed toward the glass door she knew like it was yesterday she passed it the last time. When she opened it, the tall man who was standing in front of a huge desk looked up. He had dark brown, short cut hair and blue eyes.

"Stella?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, Mac. It's me. Who'd you expected?" Stella answered with a smile.

He grinned and pulled her into a hug. He didn't say anything but she felt that he missed her. It had been hard for him to let her go. Really hard. And she missed him. Missed the way he move, the way he raised his eyebrows.

"Why're you here?" he finally asked.

"Planned to visit you guys and see how you come along without me."

"Oh, well then… It's pretty good. But not as well as it was when you were here. Believe me. It will never be."

"Ok, ok. Would you mind bringing me to Danny and Linds?"

"No, if you don't mind that it will take a bit longer? They're in the garage."

Stella shook her head. She knew he teased her and she loved it. She walked behind Mac, the man she had loved as they worked together and would always love, even if they were apart from each other.

And she knew he felt the same way.

When they reached the elevator again, a not-so-tall-as-he-wishes man entered to. When he turned, his eyes popped out of his head as he noticed who was standing with his boss.

"Stel-la? I mean… STELLA BONASERA?" he asked.

Stella noticed that Mac was smiling at her and glancing at Adam, who was now nearly crying. She chuckled and nodded.

"Wow! I mean… I never thought I would see you again! I thought you were in New Orleans with your new CSI!"

"Yeah, I was with them a few hours before I reached here. And it's nice to meet you again, Adam. I missed you pretty much."

"Er… thank you! So… how are you doing, Stel? How's the… landscape down there?"

"Beautiful."

"Adam? Shouldn't you get back to work already? What if you take Stella out late that day so you can talk to her in private?" Mac interrupted, grinning.

Adam nodded quickly and went out when the elevator opened next time. As the elevator went down again, it was quiet in there. But it was nice, just standing there with Mac. As it used to be when they worked together.

When they reached the garage, a loud scream went through the big room as Lindsay ran to Stella to hug her.

"O my God! I can't believe you're here!" she screamed.

Her husband Danny came to the group of three CSIs and grinned the typical Danny-grin. He didn't say anything, because there wasn't something to say. He was glad that Stella was back.

Stella laughed and smiled at her former co-worker Lindsay.

"Thank you, Linds. I missed you, too."

A voice from behind let them look up. A tall woman, in her mid thirties came over to them. Long, strong legs, chocolate brown eyes, black curly hair falling to her waist, great body… The perfect woman, Stella thought.

"Hey Mac. Thought I'd find you here. I have to ask you something about the flowers. Should they be pink or red?"

Stella raised her eyebrows in surprise, but said nothing. When Mac went to talk to the woman, she turned to Lindsay and Danny.

"Who's that?" she asked.

Noone wanted to answer, but finally Lindsay looked on the ground and gave a nod in the direction of the woman.

"That's Mac's fiancé."

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**A/N: surprise, surprise xD feel free to review to tell me if I should write a new chapter for it and tell me your ideas**


	2. Chapter 2: Unforgiveness

**A/N: hey hey xD ready for another chapter? here it goes xD

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**Chapter 2: Unforgiveness**

While she stared at the ceiling of Mac's office, she tried to think about what she had heard today. Mac had a fiancé, and she was the most beautiful woman Stella had ever seen. And she was a cop.

A beautiful cop. Man, Stella should've known that. She should have known that Mac would try to get over his best friend leaving. How could she be so dumb? Did she really think he would love her still, even after five years?

Stella sighed. She was sad. Why hadn't she done something when it wasn't already too late? Why? Why why why? She hit her forehead with her hand. She was nearly beginning to cry. Now she felt alone.

Every time she thought about Mac in New Orleans, she had the feeling that he would still love her. But now she knew it hadn't been true. Had never been true, actually.

What was she thinking?

Stella leaned back on the couch she was sitting on. It was the same couch Mac and she had been sitting on after the case in Greece. When she read his tea leaves. She sighed once again.

As Stella thought all those things, Mac came in silently and sat next to her. He looked her in the eyes, full of worry and praying for understanding.

"Stop hitting your head, Stella." He said.

She shook her head and began again.

"Please. I… I'm sorry."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because… I know I hurt you with hiding this from you."

"Oh Mac… why did you do this to me?"

"Because I couldn't live with the lost of you leaving."

Both of them were quiet. The clock on the wall was ticking louder and louder. After a long time Mac reached out his arm and laid it over Stella's shoulders. He pulled her to his chest. Now he felt that she was crying.

He took a deep breath and let it out again. He knew he hurt her very bad. He hurt his best friend. And that was unforgivable.

"Please forgive me, Stella. I didn't want you hurt so much."

She didn't say anything, just listened to the sound of his heart and his breathing. She realized how much she had missed him. How much she had missed his touch.

Suddenly she stood up and walked out the door, leaving her old love behind. Heading for the elevator, she stopped crying and wiped the tears away. It was over.

She would never cry after him again. She must get over it quickly or it would drive her crazy sooner or later.

Stella heard that Mac was coming after her, but didn't turn around until she went into the elevator. As the door closed, she saw a broken, lifeless Mac standing in front of her, holding the tears back.

She didn't say anything. She didn't even smile or wave. She wanted to get out.

On the streets again, Stella didn't go to her car, no. She went straight to the park on the other side of the street.

When she was half through the park, it began to rain. Drops mixed with her tears ran down her face as she sat down on a lonesome green bench.

Then she bed her face in her hands. Still sobbing, she realized she was soaked to the skin. Like her broken heart and her torn apart soul. While she walked out the park again, wet and down, she heard a song in the back of her head.

_Picture perfect memories_

_Scattered all around the floor._

_Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore_

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,_

_For me it happens all the time._

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone_

_And I need you now._

_I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control_

_And I need you now._

_And I don't now how I can do without_

_But I need you now._

Stella reached her hotel room. She took a box with old pictures from Mac and her friends and scattered it around the floor. Even if she was wet, she took each picture in her hand. For each picture a tear ran down her cheek and her heart broke one more time because she thought about Mac and what he had done to her.

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop lookin' at the door._

_Wishing you'd come sweeping_

_In the way you did before._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time._

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm a little drunk and I need you now._

_I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control_

_And I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now._

Mac sat at his favourite bar surrounded by some police officers who took a break from patrol or just dropped by to party a closed case or something. He was sad, and mad at himself. How could he be so silly? To tell Stella he would marry Jessica because she had left?

He ordered whiskey again and turned the glass in his hands. He couldn't think anymore because he was to drunk to. It was quarter after one and he needed Stella. Needed her badly. But he was engaged. Mac thought _I'm engaged _all the time to calm him down. To tell him his feelings for Stella wouldn't last long. To slow down his anger, his hurt. Then he heard a song in the radio.

_Guess I'd rather hurt_

_Than feel nothing at all…_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone_

_And I need you now._

_I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk_

_And I need you now._

_And I don't now how I can do without_

_I just need you now._

Both reached for their cell phone and called each other. But it was busy signal which answered. Both sighed.

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**A/N: please feel free to review xD**


	3. Chapter 3: SOS

**Chapter 3: SOS**

It had been getting late last night, Stella thought as she got out of bed. She didn't want to, but she had to go back to the lab. She needed help. Maybe she could ask Lindsay. So Stella stood up and put her clothes on: a white shirt and black trousers. When she got on her high heels, she looked in the mirror. She looked different now. Right when she had arrived in New Orleans, she had got a new hair cut. Now her hair was short, they just reached her shoulders.

Stella sighed. NO had changed her. And the whole New York Team. Maybe not Lindsay but it changed them some how. Then Stella went out the door, reaching for her car keys. As she turned around the last time, she saw the pictures lying on the ground like yesterday and the wet clothes right beside them. Suddenly all the feelings came back to her.

Coming out the elevator, Mac went straight to Danny's lab. He didn't felt well and his head hurt if a truck drove just over it. He had to much drinks last night. And he had done something very wrong. He had let Stella go. He should have held her back and talk to her, speak things out. As he went into the room, his co-worker looked up.

"Hey Mac. You look tired. Didn't have coffe this morning?"

Mac raised an eyebrow.  
"No. I had to much to drink last night."

"Are you kidding? The fabulous Mac Taylor drank TO MUCH? Wow. I have to note that."

"Danny. Focus. I need your help."

Now it was Danny's to raise his eyebrow and smirk. He couldn't believe what his boss just had said. Help? Mac Taylor needed help? From him? Wooow, Danny thought.

"You. Want. My. Help. Am I right?"

"Yeah, I want your help. And I want you to be serious about that. Okay?"

"Okay, boss."

Mac leaned at the white table near Danny.

"It's about... Stella. I tried to talk to her yesterday, but she walked away."

"Well... I think she tries to get over the news that you are engaged to that Jessica whatever her name is. She was in love with you, ya know? Just let her think about it a few days. She will get it. I'm sure of that."

"Really? I've got the feeling that it won't be that easy Danny. I mean... I know I hurt her very much."

As Stella reached the door of Danny's lab room, she stopped. There was Mac in it and she didn't want to talk right now. But there was something that let her stay. Suddenly someone bumped into her. She looked up into worried, blue eyes full of pain. She made one step back.

"Sorry... I..."

"No, you don't have to be sorry, Stella. I have to. I hurt you and I don't know how I can go through this."

Stella looked on the ground. She felt tears in her eyes, but held them back. Finally she said:

"I don't wanna talk about that right now Mac, okay? Just... leave me alone."

As she went away from him, she felt the loss even more. It grew worse and worse. As she reached the elevator again,  
Mac had reached her and took her by her arm. He turned her around and their lips met. Stella held her breath for one second then let it go and laid her arms around Mac's neck. He held her face lightly in his hands.

It could have been so nice, if there hadn't been a off-cutting voice: "Mac! What the hell are you doing?"

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**A/N: sorry, if this is a little bit short, but I have some kind of writer's block... please review after all, even if its not as good as the last two chapters xD**


	4. Chapter 4: Don't leave

** A/N: sorry for letting you wait THAT long xD

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****Chapter 4: Don't leave**

_As she reached the elevator again,__Mac had reached her and took her by her arm. He turned her around and their lips met. Stella held her breath for one second then let it go and laid her arms around Mac's neck. __He held her face lightly in his hands. _

_It could have been so nice, __if there hadn't been an off-cutting voice: "Mac! What the hell are you doing?"_

Jessica kinda walked over to them, looking furious at her fiancé. She just saw him kissing this… woman she didn't know. But he knew her obviously well.

What the hell was he thinking he's doing? That couldn't be. They were engaged and no one could ever change it.

"I… It's not what you think, Jessica…" Mac tried to explain as he pulled away from the woman.

"Uh huh. I don't believe you! I saw her kissing you! And now you say it's not what I think it is? Are you serious? How can you… Mac? In your office. Now. We have to talk."

Mac sighed as he walked behind Jessica.

Stella couldn't believe what she just heard. Jessica, Mac's fiancé thought, that she had started kissing Mac? Was she crazy? Oh Lord…

That couldn't be. And now Mac was taking all the anger on him. That wasn't fair. Maybe it was, but…

She had to talk to Jessica. Tell her it was Stella's fault and that had meant nothing. They were just friends, right?

As she walked to Danny's lab again, she passed Mac's office. It wasn't that nice what she heard.

"_How can you dare…?" Jessica screamed._

"_What does that matter to you? I'm engaged with you. Have you forgotten that? Have you forgotten all of what I've done for you? I even argued with Sinclair to transfer you here so we could work together! And now you want to end all this?"_

"_If it's necessary, YES! I want to end this! I can't take it. You've been in love with her from the first day, right? And you used me as a rebound! Am I right? Tell me the truth!"_

"_No. Yes… I don't know! She was my best friend, you understand that? I… realized that I love her when she went away! Are you feeling better now? To know that I didn't love you ever?"_

Stella winced and walked to Danny. She had heard enough. Why was Mac saying Jessica the truth? Maybe because he loved Stella. Or he loved Jessica more and told her the truth to have a good conscience now.

But it was not necessary. She would have to explain a lot to Mac. And to Jessica. A lot. What would happen if they broke up? It would brake Mac's heart, wouldn't it?

Stella didn't want to think about it now. It would be too hard even if it came to such a talk. So she walked into Danny's lab and realized he was staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Er… Nothing…"

"Come on, Danny. We had been working together over 10 years. Tell me."

"I saw, that Mac kissed ya. And I saw that Jessica whatever-her-name-is saw it, too. So… what did she say?"

Stella sighed.

"She accused me to kiss Mac first. After that she took Mac to his office and they had a… big fight."

"Oh." Was all that Danny could say. _Not good. _He thought.

Mac looked after Jessica and didn't feel guilty. If she couldn't deal with the truth, she should forget about it. Really fast.

He sighed. It wasn't as hard to let her as it was with Stella. He had spoken out what had been on his mind since his best friend left. And that in front of his fiancé.

Maybe it was better that way. A lot of better, if someone would ask him. He walked out the office door and headed back to Danny. There was still a case to work on and Sinclair was breathing down on his neck already.

As he walked in, he didn't realize that Stella was there, too. Danny changed a curious look with him, then began to explain what results he had get from the tests.

Stella came over and touched Mac's shoulder. He turned around and looked her in the green eyes. She smiled, and he smiled back.

Mac sighed quietly and put an arm around Stella's waist. She did the same to keep him grounded.

Now it was the same as it was 5 years ago.

**** Next Morning ****

Stella woke up. It was 5. 43 a.m. and too soon to go to the lab. Why she was hanging around there… she didn't know.

She stood up and put a tank top and shorts on. Then she headed to the little kitchen in the hotel room. She made some breakfast with milk, toast and honey.

She thought about the fight between Jessica and Mac.

Like someone read her mind, her cell phone went off. It was Danny.

"_Hey Stella." Behind him Lindsay started to sob._

"Danny? What happened?"

"_It's about Mac and Jessica."_

"Okay. Now, tell me."

"_Jessica is heading to Canada. That's the slightest of problems. It's Mac."_

Stella felt fear crumbling in her stomach. Please don't let him be hurt. Please god.

"Danny! Don't try to get around it."

"_Jessica shot him before she left. He's in hospital."_

Stella shut the phone off and took her work clothes on. She took badge, car key and gun and ran to her car.

She raced to the hospital and entered. As she reached the waiting room in the emergency room she met the whole team. Lindsay was sitting in a plastic chair, Lucy, her daughter, on her lap and Danny beside her. She cried uncontrollable. Then Stella turned and faced Flack.

He seemed pale. Sheldon was shocked and leaned near the door. Sid looked on the ground. He seemed like he would brake down sooner or later. Then there was Adam. He was sitting on the hospital floor beneath Sheldon. He cried quietly.

Tears ran down Stella's cheeks. She realized that it wasn't good. It was bad, actually. Really bad.

As all realized that Stella had entered, Danny came to her.

"It looks bad. Two shots in the chest. One only a centimetre from his heart. They took him in surgery an hour ago."

Stella nodded. A song came to her mind while she waited with the others: "So far away" from Roxette.

_In the coldest time of year, darkness all around my heart.  
I was alone but didn't fear to wander in the light of stars.  
In the bright and silent night, winds would knock and disappear.  
Still I felt a feeling near, like the first time you were ever here._

You're so far away, so far away,  
You left me, you told me you would stay.  
You never said goodbye and I keep wondering why,  
I keep on wondering how, oh come unto me now.

I have breathed the morning air, I have heard the four winds blow.  
I was weary but prepared to follow down this lonely road.  
In the room where lovers sleep, winds would knock and disappear.  
Still I felt the music near, like the first time we were ever here.

You're so far away, so far away,  
You left me, you told me you would stay.  
You never said goodbye and I keep wondering why,  
I keep on keep on wondering how, oh come inside me now.

As she looked through the door of the surgery room, she whispered:

"Stay with me, Mac. You're all I have."

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**A/N: I write it once and once again: PLEASE REVIEW xD thank you**


	5. Chapter 5: Time to Stay

**A/N: sorry for letting you wait again xD

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Chapter 5: Time to Stay

It has been ten hours since Stella had arrived at the hospital. The whole CSI team sat in the waiting room, hoping her best friend and boss would survive.

Lindsay was playing with Lucy, her already 5 year old daughter. She had red eyes from crying and could only speak with a raspy voice. Danny sat near them and laughed each time Lucy beat up her mom.

Sheldon and Sid were studying some files from a case they worked on and tried not to think about who was lying in surgery still.

Adam slept in a chair near the Messer's and snorted a little bit. He cared the most about Mac, because he had been his mentor for years and had helped whenever he could.

Stella sat down on the ground near the door. It was all her fault. If she hadn't decided to come to New York, it wouldn't have come to this. Mac had married Jessica and all would have been fine.

She sighed. Everything was completely crazy. What if Mac was dying? Who would bury him? His mother? Alone?

But she didn't want to think about it right now. The best that she could do was thinking that all would be going good. Everything will be fine, she said to herself.

Then she remembered what Mac told her the first time he cared about her after a hard case:

"_That's what partners do. We take care of each other. And nobody can take that away. Remember that always, Stella."_

And now she had to take care for Mac. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. Her thoughts drifted away. Before she could realize what was happening, she fell into a deep sleep.

Later she woke up, right when a doctor in her mid-thirties walked over to them. She had a patient record in her hands.

"Family of…" she looked on the record. "Detective Mac Taylor?"

Everybody looked to Stella now. She watched every ones eyes before standing up and giving the doctor a sign.

"Hello. And you are the wife?"

Stella smiled a bit. "No, best friend."

"Well then… I'm Doctor Isabel Johnston. Would you come with me, please? The others can visit him later."

As Doctor Johnston walked through the door and entered a big hall, she looked at Stella carefully.

"Before you visit him, I have to say: He's not awake. So… if you wanna talk, you have to come again later. And… If he wakes up, call me or a nurse."

Stella nodded and sighed. She hated being in the hospital. It was so clean, sterile… and white. So pure white, it hurt when you looked at it longer than one or two seconds.

She followed the lively Doctor and when the reached the room with the number "8433". Stella smiled as she noticed that it was Mac's badge number.

The doctor opened the door quietly and led her through. Then she closed it behind her, Stella was alone.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The noise burned in her mind. As Stella stepped next to the bed, she looked down on Mac's now peaceful face. As he had been never shot.

She sat down in a plastic chair and took Mac's hand in hers. It was cold, very cold. As cold as the walls and the room itself.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when he started to cough.

"Hey Mac…" she whispered.

He slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey…"

"Are you alright?"

"If you don't mention… that I was shot… yes…" he croaked.

She smiled.

"Hey, don't tease me."

He grinned a bit, but was too weak to say more. He closed his eyes again and breathed slowly. From outside you could here a loud noise. Then the whole team stormed in with the doctor behind. As they saw Mac being awake, they were suddenly very quiet.

The doctor came over.

"Hello. Do you know who you are?"

Mac raised his eyebrows and thought for a moment.

"I think… McKenna Boyd Taylor II, named Mac."

Behind them there was a laugh, as they heard Mac's full name. Nobody had known about it.

"And do you know where you are?"

"In hospital, I think."

"And you know why?"

"I've been shot in the chest, twice. On in the right lung, the other right near my heart. Maybe one centimetre away."

They all stared at him, but he didn't give any explanations.

"Good. I'll come later to look after you again. And call if you need something."

Mac nodded. As she was away, he made a face. As he looked up again, there was Lucy trying to hug him.

She came over, climbed on the bed and threw her little arms around his neck.

"Uncle Mac?" she said with her tiny voice. "Are you okay? Mum had been crying the whole night. What happened?"

But Mac was asleep already, too tired of being awake, seeing the faces of his friends being so worried.

He knew that they were okay, that Jessica didn't try to hurt them as well. As he slept, he had a dream about his wife. Not about Claire, even if he loved her more than ever. No, he dreamed about Stella.

Stella.

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**A/N: *sings* Review! Review! Review!**


	6. Chapter 6: Happily ever after

**A/N: so... here's the last chapter for that story. hope you enjoyed reading this. because it made fun and was a great experience to write it. so.. thanks to you guys too! I 3 YOU

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**Chapter 6: Happily ever after**

It had been two weeks since Mac had been shot. They had been hard. Especially when his heart wasn't strong enough to take the pain anymore. It had stopped beating.

Stella didn't want to remember it, but it was necessary to get over it. The best thing to do when you want to get over a thing: Think about it. Analyze it. Give it a try to bring you down. Then kill it.

As she walked through the hospital doors for the last time, her mind fade away. She remembered the hardest hours in her life.

_Stella walked over to the coffee machine in the nurse's room. She made coffee for the whole team. It had been long days. The waiting for Mac to come out of surgery, they waiting for him to be awake another time…_

_It was hard to see the best friend broken like this. But Stella felt Mac cured more when she was around. Like best friends should do._

_Just as she came back, Sheldon and Adam, both tired, walked to her and took their coffee mugs out of Stella's hand to "help her" as they said._

_Lindsay and Danny also took their mugs and sat back on the chairs in front of Mac's hospital room. It had been quiet for hours in there so they thought he was asleep._

_As soon as Doctor Johnston arrived they looked up. "When the shots cure well, you can take him home tomorrow. But you have to watch out. The stitches are not fully healed."_

_Every one nodded, knowing that after he would have been released from hospital, Mac would appear at the lab to work again, even if Sinclair would tell him to stay home. That was Mac. You could call him a workaholic in a way._

_But only Stella knew why he staid at work every night he could. It was because the dead of his wife, Claire Conrad, on 9/11 hurt him so much that he couldn't sleep anymore. Then it had been Stella to bring him back to life again._

_After all they had been friends. Even if they were arguing some times, they were and would be friends._

_Stella sighed. Then she turned to Mac's room and went quietly in, watching the doctor carefully. She wasn't allowed to talk to him, but she needed to._

_As she had closed the door, she went over to his bed and sat down on a plastic chair. As he looked her in the eyes, she looked away._

"_What?" he asked raspy._

"_Just wondering if you are okay."_

"_Yes, I am, Bonasera. Why are you really here?"_

"_To tell you you'll be released tomorrow if you are a good boy tonight. And I hope you are. Because your badge and gun are already missing you."_

_He smirked, the sentence even made him chuckle a bit. But then the pain shot through his chest again and he began to cough._

_Taking his hand in hers, Stella leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. It was so natural to them, even if they were co-workers._

_They exchanged a long, long look, his sapphire eyes in her lightening green eyes. Both sighed at the same time, making Mac cough another times. Stella yawned and tried to hide it from her best friend, but, as usual, he saw that, too._

"_When was the last time you slept, Stel?"_

"_Not important."_

"_Oh, yes, right. And you're not looking tired. I heard that before. Several times from you, then from me… It's always the same. What's bothering you so you can't sleep?"_

_She looked on the ground, realizing she was still holding Mac's hand. She didn't want to tell him, but otherwise she had to._

"_When… you get shot… I thought you would die… And I couldn't mention a life without you, Mac."_

_He looked at her, not in surprise, but understanding._

"_Then… as you were in surgery… I was so afraid that I could lose you. I was afraid of telling your mum that her son had died. I was afraid of being alone again…" Stella started to sob. She couldn't hold it back anymore. All the feelings she had held back the past few hours rushed over her like a wave._

_Mac noticed her fear deep in his heart, too. He had felt the same way. So he moved a bit in the bed, making place for her, so she could lay down to rest. There was the pain again, but he ignored it._

_Stella smiled and laid down beside him, knowing that it would look wrong in so many way. But she was so happy she had someone like Mac. Cuddling up on his shoulder, she closed her eyes. When he winced, Stella looked up._

"_Did I hurt you? I'm sorry…"_

"_No… It's my fault…" Mac mumbled under his breath._

_Then he laid an arm around Stella to keep her warm in the more or less cold hospital room. Stella fell asleep soon and just woke up when someone carried her out of the room._

_She looked up and saw Flack's worried face, his eyes full of pain._

"_What happened?" she asked weak as they reached the waiting room again. As he let her down on a seat, she saw Danny, Lindsay, Sheldon, Sid, Flack, Adam… and suddenly she knew what happened. Felt it in her heart._

_Linds walked over to Stella and touched her shoulder softly. She began to cry and sat down beside Stel._

"_I'm so sorry…" she said._

_Stella couldn't believe what she just heard. What had happened? Something with…_

"_Oh no…" she said. "__No, no, no, no, no!"_

_At least she began to cry to and rested her head in her hands. __The whole team came over and hugged her. Don held her a bit longer than necessary but it felt good._

_Then it was time to wait again. But it was longer than the other time. It was more painful than every other time. It hurt even more._

_Stella knew from Sid, that when she just fell asleep, Mac had started to cough and spitting out blood. He was bleeding inside and couldn't breathe any more. The doctors had taken him to surgery, but didn't want to wake Stella up and bother her with this._

_Now they sat four ours in the waiting room. It was quiet, uncomfortable and sad. Then Don and Danny began to fight. Over what, Stella couldn't recognize it._

_All she remembered was that she ran to them, pushing them to opposite sites and screaming: "Could you please stop yelling at each other? Mac's still in surgery and you have nothing to do than fight over harmless things? You're not better than Jessica."_

_Then she broke down._

Now Stella reached for Mac's hospital room and entered. As she closed the door again, she saw Mac, sitting on the bed, trying to put is grey NYPD T-shirt on. He looked up and kinda smirked.

"Hey…" he said.

"Hey. Can I help you?"

He rolled his eyes.

"No, I can take it myself, thank you. So… are you taking me outta here?"

"Yeah, I'm your ride home. If you wanna go yet."

Stella came over to him and took his t-shirt over his head. She saw the bandage over his chest and began to wonder how he was going to take the pain. She knew it hurt.

He watched her, raising his eyebrow just like he always did.

"What?" he asked.

Stella grinned. "You know how sexy you look with that bandage? Honestly, really sexy."

"'Honesty is such a lonely word` as Billy Joel sang." Mac answered. "'But it's all I want from you.'"

They both smiled at each other. Then Stella took Mac's knapsack and carried it out the room after letting him out. _Good to walk again, _he thought.

As they reached her car and got into it, Mac said quietly:

"When I passed out… I… I saw someone, talking to me. I'm not sure who it was. But I believe… it was you. This someone told me to hold on and stay. To stay to save someone's life because this someone loves me. I couldn't speak, but this someone read my mind and answered all my questions.

"If you are okay? What is it like to die? Is there a heaven? But this someone told me, that you are okay and dying is like sleeping, but never wake up until you're in 'heaven'. This someone then led me through a big, bright light. And then… I saw Claire.

"She told me everything would be okay and she was very proud of me that I moved on. That I finally found someone who loved me as deep as her love had been. And she said that she didn't felt something. Or… the baby."

Mac took a deep breath, telling his best friend the greatest secret he ever had. That Claire had been pregnant when she died in 9/11. Even if she didn't want to have children at that time. But Mac had been so happy.

Stella looked at him surprised. She hadn't wanted to ask about what he felt or saw when he almost died that day but wanted to know. Now, that he came out with the truth, he spitted out everything he could to weak his pain.

"She just told me that she was pregnant just five days before the… World Trade Centre. I was so happy but… she didn't want to have children. But I made her keep the baby. And that was why she actually went there. I told myself that it wasn't my fault but… when she phoned me there to tell me, that she wanted to get the baby away… The plane crashed into it."

As Stella now watched his eyes, they filled with water and ran down his cheeks. They arrived at the lab, Mac noticed that but was to concerned to ask. They went out the car. Before he could get into the building, Stella held him back by his arm and pulled him into a hug, trying to steady him.

"Mac? I will be there for you. Every time you need me. I promise."

He smiled. Then there was a cough behind them. There were Danny, Lindsay… the whole lab including Mac's goddaughter Lucy. And Chief Sinclair. He kinda smirked which made him look very strange. He stepped forward and began:

"Sergeant Mac Taylor? Welcome back. You can start work as soon as you want. And I apologize for every thing I've done to you. Now… Detective Stella Bonasera? I want to say greetings from your collegeaus in New Orleans. They all wish the best for you. Welcome back to you, too. You're officially working in New York again."

As Mac and Stella exchanged a look, they both grinned goofy and hugged another time. Then Mac took her head in both hands and kissed her. As their lips met, there was applause on every side of them.

"WELCOME BACK!" they all screamed.

* * *

**A/N: I'm very proud of myself now xD finished my first story. yippieh xD hope you enjoyed reading and please...**

**REVIEW for the last time!**


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